Flying With a Baby: A Survival Guide

Flying with baby. For many parents, this is by far and away the most intimidating part of traveling when you have a new little human. There are so many logistics to try to understand, so many potential stress points, and so much conflicting advice out there.

Even having done it for hundreds of hours now, I still have to mentally prepare myself for air travel with a baby. But I have learned a lot about how to manage it along the way, and am here to share everything that I believe you should consider before you take that flight.

Please note that this guide is really focused on the under-18-months crowd. Got a slightly older baby? Check out my tips for flying with a toddler instead!

How to fly with a baby

Should I fly during the day or overnight?

I’ve gotta start here for my flying tips with baby, because so many people ask this! And while some people have very strong opinions that one or the other is superior – it really depends on a lot of factors.

Flying overnight is great because you can – in theory – get some rest. You don’t lose a day of travel time, and you might have one less night to pay for a hotel. Assuming it is nighttime in the time zone you’re departing from, your baby should sleep through most of the flight, making for a pretty easy experience.

Unless he doesn’t.

There could be any number of factors that keep a baby awake all night, and then before you know it – it’s 5 am, you haven’t slept, and you’re all zombies.

I have done more than a few red eye flights with a baby. Most have been awesome. One has gone the way of the zombie – my 18 month old woke up at least every hour. Her fussing was quiet enough to not disturb other sleeping passengers (remember the plane is quite loud), but we did not sleep because we had to work so hard the whole time to placate her. It completely ruined our sleep schedules, gave us all massive jet lag, and took days to recover from.

I know exactly what we did wrong on that flight, by the way. I will address that below in the section about helping your baby sleep!

So how about daytime flights? If all goes according to plan, you can entertain your baby throughout the flight, she eats and naps normally, and once at your destination you are all ready for a good night’s sleep.

But what if she knows it is daytime, and feels quite strongly that she should be allowed to run around and play, and fights and screams because she is bored and uncomfortable in her seat?

We’ve also had many daytime flights. When they go right, it is a cakewalk. When they go wrong, it can be somewhat stressful and annoying, BUT it is nowhere near as terrible as a red eye going wrong.

The daytime flight is, to me, a lower risk and lower reward situation. A red eye where your kid sleeps through the whole flight is the best. But the daytime flight carries less risk of complete disaster.

Ultimately, a lot will come down to your baby, their current age, and how well you set them up for success – whether that means sleeping at the right time, or staying properly entertained.

What I’m saying is that I wouldn’t base this decision just on your baby’s needs. Overnight or daytime flight – there isn’t one that is decidedly easier with a baby. Take your own preferences, the cost of tickets, the difference in layovers, and any other important factors into consideration first.

Should my baby get her own seat?

Babies under 2 can fly for free on domestic US flights, and for free or very cheap internationally. But there’s a catch – you need to hold them in your lap the whole time. If you buy your child her own seat, you will pay full price (or close to it, depending on the airline).

Cost is a major factor for most families, and the thought of buying a ticket that you don’t have to might seem crazy. But there are certainly some advantages to having a seat for the baby:

• You can bring the car seat and use it on the plane.
• You have plenty of space to spread out.
• You don’t have to hold the baby the entire time.

For some people, that first bullet point is everything. I will talk in depth about car seats a bit further down.

I don’t always get the baby her own seat. Here are examples of flights that I wouldn’t get the baby a ticket:

• It’s a very short (<2 hours) flight
• There are lots of adults in your party willing to take turns holding the baby
• It’s a long, international flight and you get the bassinet seat (more on that in a moment)
• Your baby is still very small and you’re going to end up holding her the whole time anyway

For a long flight with a baby that is too big to use the bassinet? Get that extra ticket if you can. You don’t want to hold a squirmy 20-month-old for 10 hours, and keep in mind that flights are already a high-stress situation for families. Really think about how that flight is going to impact you for the first few days of your vacation (are you going to be able to sleep on your red eye, for example) when you decide whether it is worth the extra cost.

Looking to save money on those tickets? I personally use Going (formerly Scott’s Cheap Flights) to find deals on flights. You can read about why I love this service for our family, and how we’ve used it to save money on flights, even with the free version.

What is the bassinet seat?

The greatest thing ever, in my opinion.

The bassinet is a cot that attaches to the wall in front of the bulkhead seats (usually, I’ve seen them configured to a side wall as well). Your baby can sleep in the bassinet seat in flight, allowing you to relax hands-free while he is napping. This is also a great place to just let your baby hang out and play with you!

What’s even better is that you do not have to buy your baby a seat to use the bassinet. They are available for lap infants!

You cannot use the bassinet during take-off and landing (you will need to either use your car seat if you have it, or hold the baby and wear the baby belt).

So what’s the catch? Well, bassinets can vary widely from airline to airline and plane to plane. You might get a cozy car seat-like device with cushioning and a 5 point harness. Or you might get a soft-sided tub with a mesh panel across the top to keep the baby in. Who knows!

Some airlines are very strict about taking the baby out anytime there is a risk of turbulence. I’ve heard from parents who had to keep taking the baby in and out repeatedly for a long flight, waking her every time. But this is rare. I’ve actually never been asked to take the baby out for turbulence, and we have used the bassinet many times. And in turbulence.

I have been told by some airlines that the baby needs to stay strapped in the whole time (in case of sudden turbulence), whereas other airlines have been fine with her sitting up and playing while at cruising altitude.

Another downside, to some people, is that you have to sit at the bulkhead seats to use the bassinet. It is true that you are near the bathroom (noisy), you can’t have your bags during take off and landing, and lots of people walk by. But I personally love sitting in the bulkhead when traveling with kids. You have more space to spread out your things, and leg room! So important for my husband who is 6’4″.

I also like to lay out an airline blanket on the ground in front of us (leaving a little path for people to walk through, if necessary based on the design of the plane) and create a little play space. This is a nice area to stretch little legs and give toddlers a bit more freedom.

Each airline also has their own weight requirements. Most have a maximum weight of somewhere between 20 – 25 lbs., although I’ve seen significantly lower and slightly higher as well. Look into it for your airline before you book if your baby is getting close to that.

Most airlines offer the bassinet on a first-come-first-serve reservation system to families traveling with a babe-in-arms. One thing to keep in mind is that the bulkhead seats will go to disabled passengers before going to a family, so there is some small risk that you might not get the bassinet after all. But there are a lot of bulkhead seats, and I’ve never heard from anyone who reserved the bassinet and then didn’t get to use it.

To get the bassinet seat, you need to call the airline as soon as you book your tickets. It usually will not be available for shorter domestic flights, and often is not an option for super budget airlines (read more about what to expect with ultra low cost airlines here!).

Should I bring my car seat on the plane?

This is a hot-button topic, and there are a lot of great resources out there about it. There are also a lot of terrible resources, and a ton of mom-shaming.

I’ll start off by saying that I have done this both ways, a number of times. Do I feel better when I use the car seat? Yes. Is it always the best choice for us? No. So you will find no judgement from me on this topic. I will stick with the facts along with my experiences.

Car seats are absolutely the safest way for your baby to fly. According to the NTSB, about 95% of aviation accidents are survivable (contrary to popular belief). And just like in a car, the safest place to be is in a car seat. If you were in a survivable plane crash, your baby’s best bet is to be strapped into that car seat, no question.

But that being said, aviation accidents are still incredibly rare, and most of those occur on private planes – not commercial flights. Flight is by far the safest form of transportation. Even without a car seat, your baby is statistically much safer than if you drove.

So what about turbulence? Should you keep your baby in the car seat the entire time?

Ideally, your baby would be strapped in any time the seat belt sign is on. Sudden, extreme turbulence can – and does – occur. But in truth, infant deaths in the air are incredibly rare.

A study that looked at 81,104 in-flight emergencies found 10 pediatric deaths over a 2.5 year period. Of those deaths, 9 were linked to either a preexisting condition or were consistent with SIDS – likely an unsafe sleeping position. [Source: Wall Street Journal]

Death aside, even infant injuries from turbulence are rare. A more common baby injury related to turbulence is scalding from spilled hot coffee. Avoid putting your baby in the aisle seat.

You can use the bassinet and a car seat, by the way. The vast majority of aviation accidents happen on take off and landing. That is the time that the car seat makes a big difference – not at cruising altitude. If your baby has her own seat and you request the bassinet, you’ll have options once you are in the air.

If you do decide to bring a car seat, keep in mind that it must have a sticker declaring that it is FAA approved for air travel. More often than not, flight attendants have checked ours for the sticker, and they will make you check the car seat if it is not approved.

It is also important to consider if your car seat will even fit. We brought our regular convertible car seat once, and it was a huge hassle. It didn’t fit right, we had to forward face and angle it, and it ended up putting our baby in a worrisome sleep position. Some families have been forced to check a car seat that they expected to use.

I highly recommend getting a travel car seat, like the ultra-lightweight and under-$50 Cosco Scenera Next (also available on Amazon but usually for more than Walmart).

Another option for older toddlers is the CARES harness. While some people report having trouble installing them on certain aircraft, they are generally well-loved by those who use them. This is the only FAA-approved device other than car seats. It’s a easy way to keep your child safe and contained without dragging along a car seat.

Many people advocate always using a car seat until your child is big enough for the regular lap belt, which is 40 lbs. It is also worth noting that this is a primarily American debate. I have been asked several times on international flights (particularly in Europe, actually) why on Earth I brought a car seat. It is not common practice around the world. Using a car seat is the safest approach, but in reality, parents have to weigh a lot of factors to make the decision that is right for them.

How can I help my older baby or toddler get comfortable on the flight?

There are a few ways to help your older baby get comfortable in his own seat. First, consider bringing a car seat. Beyond the safety aspect, keep in mind that your child knows how to sit in a car seat already! If he is comfortable on long drives, you can bet he will probably be better off in the car seat than laying on the airplane seat.

If you don’t have a car seat but you do have a seat for the baby, ask for plenty of pillows and blankets to make the seat into a snuggly area. I like to give the window seat to my baby so that I can pile pillows against the wall. Bring whatever you will need for your little one during the flight and keep it in a bag right under their seat for easy access.

There are also inflatable airplane beds made specifically to extend the seat and make it into a cozy toddler bed. These are, in theory, a wonderful idea! However, not all airlines allow them, and there are some downsides to consider – like having one more piece of luggage. You can read all about airplane sleep devices here.

What should I bring on the plane?

While we obviously have our regular carry-on bags with all of our stuff, I like to bring a separate, smaller bag to keep under the seat dedicated to baby stuff so that it’s easily accessible even if the baby is asleep on me. What does a baby need to fly? I’m sort of a minimalist, so I know that there are MUCH longer lists than this out there. But here are the things that I will not fly without:

• Snacks: Lots of snacks. Especially stuff that your child doesn’t get very often but loves. Bonus points if it is healthy, filling, and easy to access. I love protein veggie pouches for flights! You can see my favorite toddler-friendly airplane snacks here, if your baby is old enough for real food.
• Formula (if you use it): Bring 3 times the amount you think you’ll need.
• Milk: Most flights do not have milk available, so if your toddler needs milk, you better bring it! I love bringing these shelf-stable organic milk boxes. Remember: baby food, formula, breast milk, and juice are allowed in any reasonable quantity. And while these are not technically any of those things, I’ve always been allowed to bring them through. Just make sure you take them out and state up front that you’ve got milk for the baby.
• Change of clothes: For the baby, but also for anyone who will potentially get vomited on by the baby. I bring an extra shirt for myself and my husband.
• Diapers: Bring 3 times as many diapers as you expect to need.
• Books: Having a few paperback (or otherwise thin) books that slip easily into the carry-on is great.
• Toys: Keep it small. Bring 1 or 2 beloved toys from home, plus 1 or 2 new toys.
• Small muslin blanket: They’ll have blankets available, but I like to have a familiar one.
• Stickers or window clings: Our daughter spent an hour sticking and resticking these on the window.
• A notebook and a couple crayons: I don’t want to bring a whole coloring set, but a small notebook that she can scribble in with 2 or 3 crayons is perfect.
• Headphones: If your baby is old enough to watch a show. I love CozyPhones for my toddler (see my CozyPhones review here). Screen time restrictions are completely out the window when we fly!
• Tablet (for some older babies): Even if you don’t use them at home, it can be nice to have to entertain baby on the plane. It is a lot easier to manage a tablet than deal with the seat-back TV for your little one. Often the angle of the screen is wrong, especially if you are using a car seat! Check out this comparison of the best tablets for toddlers and to learn more about choosing the right tablet for your little one.

How can I help my baby sleep at the right time?

Remember that flight I mentioned earlier where my kid decided to stay up all night through a red eye? I really screwed that one up.

We don’t do much screen time at home, but all bets are off for flights. If that little phone screen will keep my toddler quiet and happy the whole way to Hawaii, great!

In fact, my kids have come to expect that airplanes = watching shows, and actively look forward to the experience. They are very well-behaved as a result.

Where I went wrong with that flight was turning on a show for her shortly before bed time and hoping she would just fall asleep to it. She didn’t. Studies show that the blue light from our screens triggers the brain to stay awake – especially for young children. And when they do fall asleep, it can cause them to enter into a light sleep cycle, like a nap. That’s why screens should be off an hour before bedtime.

She kept on waking up every hour, and crying for the phone. And because everyone else around us was falling asleep and we didn’t want her to disturb them, we gave it to her. Over and over. A vicious cycle of her falling into a light sleep then waking and crying again. All the way to Amsterdam.

Screens are a great tool on the plane, but use it with discretion. Don’t use it in the hour leading up to the time you want your baby to sleep – especially if your baby is unaccustomed to giving up the screen, like ours was.

Food is another important factor in how to get your baby to sleep on a plane. Flights tend to be a time that any concerns about my diet go straight out the window. But in a setting where you want to do everything you can to make sure your baby gets a good night’s sleep, don’t neglect the healthy, filling meal. And don’t rely on the airline food (and if your baby doesn’t have her own seat purchased, she will not get any kind of meal, by the way).

If you’re nursing or bottle-feeding, this is easy. But if you are in the solids stage, plan ahead for healthy and substantial meals. The protein-veggie pouches I mentioned above are my favorite for this.

Make sure that baby (and you) are getting plenty of hydration. It has been shown to have a significant impact on reducing jet lag!

Some other things that will help: bring a lovey or blanket from home. Something that feels and smells familiar. Close the window shade, turn off the light, and turn off your own screen if it is shining in baby’s face. Try to do any familiar bedtime routines as much as you can, like reading a book before “bed”. My baby loved me singing to her, right by her ear so she could hear over the jet engine. If you are nursing, time it to nurse him to sleep.

Should I give my baby something to help him sleep?

The short answer is no – babies and toddlers are too young for this. Whether you are considering melatonin or medication, talk to your pediatrician first.

Some people like to give antihistamines (Benadryl) because they do have a drowsiness effect. The problem is that they can also have the opposite effect, making your baby or toddler hyperactive, then lethargic but unable to sleep. This is especially true for young children whose bodies have not been exposed to this kind of medication before.

If you do end up going this route, do not give something new that you’ve never given at home. The airplane is not the place to experiment with how your child will react to a new substance. Again, please consult your pediatrician about this.

What time should I have my baby sleep if we are changing time zones?

I address this question in depth, along with a number of other tips for helping your baby adjust her sleep patterns before and after the flight, in my baby jet lag guide. If you have a big time change, after you read this post, I highly recommend you jump over to that one. Jet lag is absolutely something that babies can suffer from, but there is a lot you can do to prevent it.

Is there anything I can do for ear pain during takeoff and landing?

It is true that babies can experience ear pain from the pressure change during ascent and descent. The most common recommendation you’ll hear for this is to nurse the baby during takeoff and landing. And if you have are holding your baby anyway (no car seat) and you are breastfeeding, then definitely do this! I have many times, with great success.

It’s the sucking motion that helps. So even if you are not nursing, or your baby is in a car seat, you can still give them something to suck on. A sippy cup, a pacifier, a food pouch, your (clean) finger – whatever works for your child.

It isn’t 100% effective, and I’ve had a few times that nothing would work. But we’re not talking excruciating pain here – she is just pretty uncomfortable. Usually she’ll stop fussing as soon as her ears pop.

Should I give out gift bags to the passengers around me?

No.

But do be respectful.

So this was totally a thing a few years ago. Somebody posted a picture to social media of the nice little gift baggie that she handed out to all of the passengers around her as a “sorry” just in case her baby cried. Cute, right?

The problem is that it caught on, and as more people did this, it set a precedent that parents should apologize for traveling with their children. But you know what? Children have a right to travel, too. And feeling guilty that you didn’t bring a prize-pack for the lucky people around you is not one more thing that you need to worry about when you’re flying with a baby.

Do be respectful of other passengers. If your baby is crying, soothe him. Don’t let him kick the seat in front of him. Give him snacks when he’s hungry, and a stretch break when needed. Babies cry, it happens. You’re not a bad person if your baby doesn’t hold it together for the entire flight, and you haven’t brought gifts to make up for it.

How to get a free seat for the baby, if you’re lucky.

Are you a gambler? Great! This tip is for you!

Airlines are generally happy to give any open seats to families with young babies, but you have to ask for it. You can ask as soon as you get to the airport at the ticket counter, or you can wait until you get to the gate and ask the gate agent. The earlier you ask, the better.

There are a few ways to increase your odds. First, when you book your tickets, book yourself and your partner (if applicable) as a window and aisle seat toward the back of the plane. This gives you the best chance of getting the free seat by default, because those are most likely to be the last seats people choose. Nobody paid extra to book that particular seat.

When you’re asking at the gate, make sure you’re holding the baby (cute babies always help), and it wouldn’t hurt to seem a little frazzled. And kindness is key!

I have had a high rate of success using this method. Almost every flight where we’ve booked as a lap infant, we’ve managed to get a free seat between us. Score! In 2 of those cases, we were told the flight was fully booked but that the agent would “take a note of it and see what she could do”… and then we still ended up with the open seat. Even on a fully booked flight – it is worthwhile to at least ask!

I have never risked this for flights that I absolutely know I want a car seat, but I have heard of a lot of parents who have brought the car seat, gotten a free seat by asking, and were able to use the car seat! If you have it with you and there is an open seat, they will absolutely allow you to use it. Just be prepared to check that car seat if it doesn’t work out.

We’ve also used this trick even when we did book our baby her own seat. It was a plane that had 4-across rows, and we booked 3 of the 4, leaving one of the center seats open, and near the back of the plane. Again we asked the gate agent, and we ended up with the whole row to ourselves. So we had the car seat, but we also had space to spread out. (We actually do this every time now as a family of 4 between two rows, and it works surprisingly often).

What happens if it doesn’t work? Well, somebody will come to their seat, see that they are between 2 parents with a baby, and will happily oblige when you offer to give them the aisle seat in exchange for their middle seat.

What should I know about getting through the airport?

This guide is all about the flight itself, but the airport can sometimes be equally stressful. I have tons of tips for getting through the airport in my thorough guide on how to travel with a baby. This includes questions about counter-checking vs. gate-checking your stroller, when to arrive at the airport, whether to board the plane early or late, and more.

And then there’s airport security – it’s own little slice of hell. There are definitely things you can do to make TSA an easier experience. I’ve talked all about how to manage airport security with a baby here.

Try to relax. It can’t be that bad.

Let’s imagine that everything that could go wrong on the flight, does. Your baby screams the whole way. Everyone mutters under their breath about your lack of parenting prowess. You know what? It is a finite amount of time. It wouldn’t feel good, and you might need a seriously stiff drink to recover afterward, but you’d get through it.

In all of my hours flying, I have never once gotten a rude comment about my daughter crying – people could see that we were trying to calm her down quickly. They understand that little ears pop during descent. They might think negative thoughts, but anyone who talks down to a parent who is trying their best to calm their baby clearly has their own issues.

Flying with a baby can be stressful to think about, and it can sometimes suck in the moment. But then sometimes its a piece of cake. Just prepare the best that you can, and know that traveling with your little one is totally worth it for the memories you’ll make!

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What did I miss? Any other great tips for flying with babies? Any questions you have that I might be able to answer? Let me know in the comments!

Originally published January, 2019. Updated June, 2022.